I'm Home

I was hoping to update my blog daily, but really didn't have the time.  I wanted to cherish as much time with Macy that I could.  As I posted before, the first day went well with a little struggles.  Macy had some stress and anxiety having both K and myself there.  The next day went really well for the most part.  K had taken the other kids for the day and Macy and I got to spend the day toghether just the two of us.  We spent about 4 hours talking and singing while doing her hair.  Her hair has always been so important to her.  She loved earning a special style that I had learned to do.  I told her Wednesday morning that I was going to do it the way she likes.  She got real excited and gave me a big hug.  It really did take 4 hours undoing the braids she had and then twisting and untwisting  her spirals.  The reaction after it was done wasn't quite what I had hoped for, but over a short time she began to love it.  She wasn't used to it this way.  K kept telling her that she looked like a Sorensen.  I think that helped her like it better.  That day I really saw the transition in her.  She expressed a lot of emotion.  This was a side of Macy that I have never seen.  Our time together was full of cuddling, crying, laughing and loving.  It really couldn't have gone better.  In the pictures you can see the transition in her eyes.  The pictures with the braids are of the first day and with the beautiful curls the second and third day.  You can see those last two days the light in her eyes. 
The last day Macy and I went for a walk before leaving for the airport.  We talked about how things used to be with the raging and the yucky stuff she used to do.  She told me "I don't do that anymore, Mommy."  It was so sweet to hear.  We talked about what she needed to work on before coming home and she promised that she will keep working hard.  I fell in love with my little girl again.  I really had a hard time being home on Friday.  I missed my family very much, but someone was missing when I got home.  I haven't felt that way in a long time.  This time that Macy has been away has been healing time for me too. I'm feeling so much love for her and feeling emotionally stronger.  I can't wait for her to come home.

K thinks that Macy will be able to come home sooner then we first thought.  It is up to Macy and how well she heals over the next couple of months, but we are hoping it will be mid to end of February.  We could still use your help for her treatment for the next couple of months.  So if you would like to make a donation it would be very much appreciated. I want to thank all of you for your love, support and prayers.  Happy Holidays!

Our 1st Day Together

Macy was a little hesitent to come to me when I walked in. She wasn't sure what to do. I told her she should give me a hug. The night we spent looking at pictures on my phone and talking about them. She seems to forget about our pets names and people who are close to us. I'm not sure if I believe that she forgot, but I'm letting it go. Today I can see she is happy to have me here. We did a lot of shopping with K, holding hands the whole time. She has been very talkative with me. When she is close she stares at me. When we got home she was supposed to do school work and has been struggling with it with me near by, so I have distanced myself a bit so she can get things accomplished. Tomorrow will be a new day.

All most there!

I'm on the shuttle to see Macy. My feelings are so mixed. Got Bon Jovi and the scenery to keep me occupied. I will try to post daily, hopefully with pictures. Wish me luck!

Other helpful info

A good friend of mine has been trying to educate everyone.  She did a Podcast recently.  Please take some time to listen.
http://toginet.com/podcasts/connectwithjulianna/?s=connectwithjulianna

Ready for a Visit

We spoke with K today and Macy is doing so well she is ready for a visit.  I'll be traveling the 1st week of December for a few days.  I am excited to see Macy, but also feeling anxious.  I am not going to set my expectations to high so I won't be disappointed.  I am more excited to let Macy see that she is still loved and missed.  I can't wait to share pictures with everyone when I return.  K said she has changed so much.  Our little Buddha is back.  She was such a thick girl when we got her and now is doing so well that she has put on some weight, healthy weight.  The family is so excited for me to go.  They will be working on little gifts to give her.  I'll keep you all posted.

Here is another blog where other parents share about RAD:

http://nhacademy.blogspot.com/

November 4, 2011

One holiday gone and the best to begin.  I have been really busy with respite kids.  The holidays always cause more anxiety for RAD kids, which is more stress to mom.  I am getting a lot of calls from moms desperately needing a break. 
Scott and I have both talked to K recently and are soooo happy to hear of big changes.  First, Macy is putting on weight and her feet are growing.  Her feet haven't grown in the last two years.  She was so shut down.  Now she is beginning to thrive and her body is growing.  Second, I talked to K today and she was excited to share that Macy is making the shift.  She is doing what is asked, receiving the rewards and is happy and laughing.  I don't know if I ever heard a real laugh from Macy, can't wait to hear it myself. 
Everyone is doing well.  Getting excited about the holidays, they will be here in no time.
Thanks for your support.

October 25, 2011

I took some time off from checking in with K.  The phase that Macy was in was the most difficult for me when she was at home and hearing K go through stirred up a lot of anxiety and stress for me.  I left Scott to check in.  He spoke with K recently and things are going well.  Macy is thriving in school work.  She is not playing games with her work and is asking for help when needed.  This is great!  RAD child rarely feel they need help, and never ask for it.  They like to turn situations like this into a control battle.  Macy is finally enjoying learning!  The next step should be wanting to work on her life and what she needs to do to want to be part of our family.  I am hoping that she will continue these steps forward and I will be able to go for a visit after the holidays.  Thanks again to everyone for your thoughts and prayers.

October 4, 2011

I haven't posted anything since Macy had left.  I don't know if anyone is following our story, but I thought it would be good to share if anyone is.  I am not much of a blogger.  Truthfully this is the first time I have ever done it, so if anyone is following our journey, I am sorry for being so late. 
It has been two months since Macy has left.  Her drop off was quick.  She expressed some sincere emotions that lasted about 20 minutes.  The two days prior to her leaving were pleasant.  I think that Heavenly Father softened her heart so we all could experience some better days together. 
Macy's progress:  It is nice to say that Macy is showing progress.  To some of you the progress may seem crazy, but trust me it progress.  Macy is being very defiant and raging (this is the progress).  Why is this progress?  She is expressing her true feelings.  It usually takes 4-5 months for these children to show their true colors and Macy started showing it the 1st month.  K (the person working with her) believes that with what we have worked with her at home and her ability to express her emotions, that Macy will come home a normal, healthy child. 
A specialist visited Macy the first month and assigned tasks for her to do.  These task used certain parts of the brain and could tell us what parts are under developed.  With this knowledge, K can work with Macy on the parts needing more development and get it to where a 7 year old child should be.  Why is this important?  Children with RAD have brains that are under developed.  They lack a lot of the development that we get as infants because of the lack of nurturing, love and touch.  This was really exciting to us to be able to focus on specific parts of her brain.  It also re-assured us that this is the right place for her to be.
The rest of us are doing well. The boys and Scott are busy with football.  Taylor is just getting ready to play High School lacrosse and Skyler is busy with work, internship and his social life.  Now that I have gotten emotionally stronger, I have decided to help families with RAD children.  I offer emotional support for the distressed moms and give them a break ever once in a while by watching their kids.  It is important for these parents to have a safe place for their RAD children to go where they won't come home a mess.  It has been really rewarding to me and has made me stronger. 
Thank you for your love and prayers. 

If you have any questions about RAD please feel free to email me.

Just getting started

On our living room wall is a plaque that says "Family: A Journey to Forever".  I do believe that my family will be together forever.  It gives me great comfort in knowing that.  Our biggest struggle right know is the soul that we are loosing and the suffering that our family has gone through.  That is why I am titling our blog "Journey to Healing".  This is the beginning of our healing.

Many of you know that we had adopted two children in 2008 from Ethiopia, Jaxton and Macy.  Jaxton is thriving in our family.  He and Tray are the best of friends.  He adores his mom and dad,  and thinks his big brother (Skyler) and big sister (Taylor) are the coolest.  He is one of the happiest kids we know and is always willing to help.

Macy is a beautiful little girl, but she is becoming our lost soul.  Macy suffers from Reactive Attachment Disorder (RAD).  Children with RAD have suffered with neglect, abuse or some other kind of trauma. We believe that she lived in a orphanage for most of her 4 years prior to coming to our family.  In therapy, we have learned that she suffered greatly while in Ethiopia.  Since coming to our family she has struggled with attaching to us.  She feels our love and it scares her.  Her fear of love makes her react in a negative way.  She doesn't know how to feel.  Her only emotion is anger and rages nearly everyday.  In the past eight months Macy has had no progress.  She is slipping quickly and we fear that we are loosing her.  

Through lots of prayer we have found a safe place where Macy can go to learn how to love, attach and to heal.  After years of suffering, we feel comfort.  We believe that this is our next step to healing.  Macy is scheduled to leave August 1st and as hard as it will be to say goodbye, we know that this is what is best for her.  The monthly expense for Macy's care and therapy will be approximately $2700 (7 to 12 months). To make this possible we come to you for help.  Any donations are greatly needed and appreciated.  We have set up a Paypal account through our non-profit organization (Purpose2Life) where you can make a one-time donation or set  monthly donations.  All donations will go to Macy 's care.  You all have been so wonderful.  We have felt your love, support and prayers. We truly are grateful to each of you.  You can follow her progress on our blog that I will update frequently until she comes home.  If you have questions about anything please email me at corrie.sorensen@gmail.com .  Thank you!


To learn more about Reactive Attachment Disorder please check out these links:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lTx8Ct43wPQ
http://www.attachment.org/pages_what_is_rad.php
http://www.mayoclinic.com/health/reactive-attachment-disorder/DS00988